Originally posted on  http://www.jimmyjoy.com/blog/2017/celebrate-your-freedom-it-s-singles-day.

11/11/2017 is Singles Day, the day you can show the world that you are proud to be the one and only ruler over your king-sized bed. All day, every day.

Singles’ day originates from China, when in the 1990’s a bunch of single students came together to celebrate their singleness on 11.11. Because of all the ones, get it? (Although that date would also suit a holiday for people with a quadruple polyamorous relationship.) They came up with Singles’ Day so you have a day to enjoy that you are single, because you deserve it. Being single can be a serious pain in the ass since people will come up to you saying stuff like:

  • “Being lonely sounds pretty boring.”

  • “A colleague of mine is single as well, do you want me to set you up?”

  • “I think you are just too picky you know.”

  • “The plumber of the sister of the pastor of my gynaecologists Labradoodle is single as well, do you want me to set you up?”

As you can understand: this means war. And today is the day that single people can take revenge, finally. So to get you started, we came up with some things to say to people who are in a “happy” relationship:

  • “So tell me, is it hard to…

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